12 Important Life Lessons To Learn Before You Turn 30

12 Important Life Lessons To Learn Before You Turn 30

A few days ago, I entered the 3rd decade of my life (!)

If you had asked me 10 years ago, what I thought my life would be like at 30, it would have been a completely different story to what is actually happening.

Life and your perspective definitely change with each decade and year that passes you by.  When I was 18, 21, 25, I thought I knew everything.  I thought I knew where my life was headed and what I would be doing with my life.

But now I realized that the true beauty of life lies in the fact that the future is unknown.  And this is what makes it so mysterious and interesting!

Here’s my list of 12 things I wish I knew before I turned 30:

 

  1. Don’t be afraid to cut out toxic friendships

 

I was always the type of person who didn’t like to say goodbye to things.  I attach a lot of nostalgia and sentimentality to people and things.  I was very naïve and thought that everyone wanted to be friends with everyone else; that people would treat me with the same level of care and respect that I showed them.

I invested a lot of time into my friendships, carefully nurturing them.  I refused to let go of the friendships that were toxic to me because I didn’t want to lose them.

It took me all of 30 years to realise that at the core, most people have their own interests at heart.  That not all friendships are permanent.  That just because you grow up together in childhood, doesn’t mean your friendship will stay that way all the way through adulthood.

Because, let’s face it, you can’t force people to stay if they just don’t want to.

Friends will come and go.  Look out for the genuine ones that really have your back, rather than spreading yourself too thin and trying to be friends with absolutely everyone.

  1. Don’t compare yourself to others on social media

 

The problem we all face when we look at social media is that it makes us feel good (dopamine) while at the same time, makes us feel inadequate.  For me personally, I tend to post only the best parts of my life.  For example, I won’t post the boring day-to-day parts of my life, I don’t post any arguments I have with family or my other half.  I don’t post the times when I’m feeling down.  Essentially, most people are also like me.

It’s easy for us to feel down when we look at someone else’s “highlight reel” of their life because it makes us feel bad about the boring parts of our own life.  But we have to realise that it is just that – a highlight reel.

We don’t know another person’s full life story, so we can never judge them.  We don’t know what hardships they have been through.  For example, a lot of people I went to school with, only see my successes on social media and think I achieved this overnight.  The reality is that it took 5 years of literal blood, sweat and tears to get to where I am now, plus many sleepless nights and working 15 hour days back-to-back to get my businesses running to the level they are at today.

 

  1. You have your own personal timeline

 

Growing up, I thought that there were “deadlines” on important milestones in my life.  I thought that I needed to finish university by age 21, get a job immediately, meet my life partner and be married by 28, kids by 29.

Nothing has gone according to that plan.  In fact, I dived into entrepreneurship straight out of university (which took my 6 years to graduate from), and have been working for myself ever since.  I don’t feel the pressure to be a young mother and I don’t allow myself to feel pressurised to marry early either.  I realised that these things were other people’s values.  I now choose to live my life according to what I want, rather than feel pressured to follow strict invisible “deadlines”.

 

  1. Do what you love and do it every day

 

I worked at a restaurant during my time at university.  I remember very clearly the managers used to give me so much praise and encouragement that I worked myself even harder, to earn more praise.

One day, I collapsed at work.  In that moment, something that had been in the back of my mind, suddenly came to my attention.  I was working so hard to make someone else’s dreams come true.  They were never going to give me a payrise and my efforts and hard work wouldn’t be reflected in the amount of money I put into my pocket; rather it will go into the pockets of the managers and restaurant owners.

I feel very blessed to have realised this during my university days.  Being somewhat of an ambivert (but mostly introverted) and having only one scheduled class per week (my degree was mostly coursework and I had zero exams), I spent my days allowing myself to freely follow my heart and do what I loved to do.

I found that I got a thrill and a high from selling online (on eBay).  No matter what the item was, I would get a rush of adrenaline each time I sold something (I was selling old junk that I didn’t want anymore from my room).

One day, I fell in love with a Japanese toy I saw online and knew I had to get my hands on one.  I decided to approach the company and bought a wholesale batch with the intention of selling them online and keeping one for myself.  I thought: even if no one buys them, I can keep them for myself as they’re so adorable!

This was the start of my online business LoveJojo which has now been in operation since 2012.

I love running this business and have recently expanded so much that I needed hired help.  I started using social media to grow the company and grew my Instagram account to over 100k within a year and my business started to boom.  My friends all began to ask for my advice and strategies so I helped them.  Then their friends asked me to help.  It took up so much of my time that I decided to create an online course to cater to the demand.  Thus, my second business in Instagram consultancy was born.

I thoroughly enjoy running both of these businesses.  And it is mainly down to the fact that I consciously allow myself to think first – “do I really want to do this or is this someone else’s value?” before I go into anything.  The most important thing is to remember to follow your heart!

 

  1. In 10 years’ time, this won’t even matter anymore

 

I’m talking about the little things here.  The things that get you down.  The things that eat away at your self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence.  Those petty arguments, the need to be right (rather than happy), that anger, frustration or annoyance at something not turning out the way you wanted it.

Will it really matter in 10 years’ time?

 

  1. Stop worrying about what other people think of you

 

As human beings, we are hardwired to try to “fit in”.  This is because back in the days of survival, it was easier to survive predators if you were in a pack rather than on your own.  Instinctively, we try to fit in to “survive”.  But we are past all of that now and in modern-day society, we are actually free to make our own choices.  Staying true to yourself and being who you really are, is what will make society move forwards.

Stop worrying what other people will think of you.  Their opinions are not what matters.  What matters is that you have lived this life to your fullest without any fear of regret.  When you are laying on your deathbed, will you be thinking about all those things you didn’t do because you were so worried what people would think, or would you be filled with regret for having not taken those chances?

  1. Take care of your skin

 

When we’re young (and reckless), it’s easy to just neglect and take our skin for granted.  When we’re still young, our skin naturally looks good and it is easy for us to become lazy in applying SPF every single day!  Same goes for skincare creams and serums.  Plus, remember to take off your makeup every single day before bed no exceptions!  Your skin will thank you for it when you’re older.

 

  1. Be mindful of what you’re putting into your body

 

When you’re young and you have no health issues and your metabolism is high, it’s easy to get carried away eating junk food.  Not that I, ahem, do that.  Try to choose non-processed foods whenever possible – go back to nature.

 

But you need to think long term.  You’re going to be living in this body (hopefully) for the rest of your life.  It’s good to set it up in the best possible state to see you through to the end.  Eat the food you enjoy by all means, but make sure you’re being mindful of consuming enough fruits, vegetables and vitamins.

  1. Find out who you are

 

So many people are engrossed in finding The One early on in their young adult lives.  But the secret is to spend time being by yourself; find out what you enjoy and like; find out who you are.  It’s kind of like tunnel vision, if you spend all your time seeking out The One, you won’t be present in the moment enjoying yourself.  And what’s more attractive than someone enjoying themselves to the max?

 

  1. Be more active

 

A healthy body will see you through to old age.  Many elderly family members I know (some nearing their 100th birthday) are still fit and active to this day because they stayed active during their youth.  I solemnly believe that the more you keep your body fit and active, the healthier you will be into old age.

 

  1. Don’t listen to everything you are told

 

It’s so easy to get sucked into believing things at face value.  How many times have you been told something and you accepted it without questioning, only to find out later that it was utter rubbish?

Learn to question things and find things out for yourself by doing your own research.  Especially don’t take anything newspapers, media, TV, radio tell you for face value.  Go out and find out information on your own and choose to live your own life.

Do not let others dictate how to live your life.  Don’t just listen to music because it’s being forced upon you by the media.  Don’t spend your time obsessing over celebrities because it’s being presented to you in magazines etc.  Don’t let the news scare you without researching properly first.  This is how gossip, rumours and false news is spread.  Don’t allow someone or something else to govern your way of thinking or how you live your life.

 

  1. Stop and smell the roses

 

This one is so important.  I never realised the power of a gratitude journal.  Even if you don’t have one, it’s empowering to spend a few minutes each day reflecting on the things that you’re grateful for.  It doesn’t even have to be big or obvious things, it can be the really small things – small things all add up to form the bigger picture in the end!

 

So there you have it!  It’s a rather long post but I felt it was important to mark this important milestone in my life and also share with you what I’ve learnt in my 30 years being on planet Earth!

3
Follow:

46 Comments

  1. 22nd September 2017 / 12:11 am

    You learned a lot before you hit 30! I have to agree with taking care of your body and skin. Unfortunately, I was one of those young people that thought I was invincible and it’s catching up with me 🙁

  2. 22nd September 2017 / 1:15 am

    Great tips! It’s so important to not compare yourself to others. Everyone is on their own journey in life.

  3. 22nd September 2017 / 1:22 am

    Yes, I just LOVE your list! I’ve learned to get rid of toxic friendships. I used to stick with it, then I realized life is short and I shouldn’t be weighed down by people who don’t really care what happens in my life.

  4. 22nd September 2017 / 1:31 am

    These are all so true! It can be hard to let go of things, even when they’re toxic- a very good lesson 🙂

    Lindsey | http://www.seamlesssea.com

  5. 22nd September 2017 / 1:53 am

    Such great tips, all of them!

  6. 22nd September 2017 / 2:08 am

    This is an amazing post! I love all of the advice! And I especially agree with cutting out toxic people, it makes a huge difference in happiness!

  7. 22nd September 2017 / 5:39 am

    These are great lessons. It’s been a while since I turned 30, but it took me longer to finger these things out. And happy belated birthday!

  8. 22nd September 2017 / 7:50 am

    Really love your list! I am now 36 and thought I would have a kids at 25 but I became a mother only 2 years ago! And 20 years ago I couldnt imagine myself speaking fluently french and be living in Switzerland. Life is an unknow adventure but you just need to take care of yourself to be able to handle this adventure!

    • Pooja k
      29th September 2017 / 3:40 am

      These are some wonderful points to keep in mind and you have nailed it before 30.

  9. 22nd September 2017 / 9:28 am

    30 is slowly creeping up on me and these are some important lessons. I’m still llearning a few of them but hey it’s a never ending learning process right?

  10. 22nd September 2017 / 10:07 am

    Wow, those are very inspiring words! I’ve applied most of them as well when I turned 30 ten years ago. Your post reminds me that it would be good to do something similar when I turn 40 very soon. 🙂

    By the way, I signed up for your Instagram webinar. Excited to learn from you!

  11. 22nd September 2017 / 11:16 am

    taking care of the body the most important thing to do, very good and helpful article, thank you sharing!

  12. 22nd September 2017 / 12:45 pm

    Not comparing yourself to others from social media is so important! Just be you and focus on being the best you and that will lead to much happiness!

  13. 22nd September 2017 / 2:49 pm

    Such important lessons to learn at any age. I especially love the “IN 10 YEARS’ TIME, THIS WON’T EVEN MATTER ANYMORE” bit. It’s such a strong basis for every decision you make. Thank you for sharing! Love your blog <3

  14. 22nd September 2017 / 4:38 pm

    Very well said Jojo. I’m turning 31 in a few weeks and if there’s anything I’ve valued more now than ever is how I spend my energy and time. I’d rather be alone than in bad company. Being able to take care of oneself mentally and physically is the best gift you can give yourself!

    xx
    Lauren
    http://www.shoesandashimi.com

  15. 22nd September 2017 / 5:15 pm

    Love all these points!!! I agree with them!! Great post!

  16. 22nd September 2017 / 6:18 pm

    excellent ideas. Your experience is very valuable. I appreciate how you realized these things and made your dreams work. I tell my kids and the players I coach not to treat University as a race. Take time to enjoy being there and enjoy learning, even if it means taking fewer courses and not graduating in 4 years.

  17. 22nd September 2017 / 6:56 pm

    I love all of these, Jojo! Happy birthday by the way. I recently entered into the 30’s club, too. I must say I do feel a hundred times more wise than when I was in my 20’s! These tips are all things I experienced first hand as well.

  18. Danielle
    22nd September 2017 / 9:48 pm

    Cutting out toxic friends was one of the best things I ever did. I am so much happier focusing my attention on more positive things.

  19. shannon
    23rd September 2017 / 12:32 am

    I like that she was cutting toxic friends as number one and I’m still working on number to myself great list

  20. 23rd September 2017 / 1:58 am

    Your blog is so elegant and beautiful. Thank you for sharing such wonderful insights. Best wishes!

  21. 23rd September 2017 / 3:41 am

    Aww… I love this really sincere post, it got to me… I’m not yet 30 but I’ve been perturbed about not being able to achieve a lot that I’ve planned by now… 😊This post is you telling me; don’t worry just walk at your own pace… Thank you jojo

  22. 23rd September 2017 / 5:18 am

    You know what? I think I want you for my life coach! Wise words indeed!

  23. 23rd September 2017 / 2:19 pm

    Loving your post, I love reading this particular article. there’s a lot of lessons to pick on advices to saved and utilize in the future. thanks for this wonderful feed.

  24. Heather
    23rd September 2017 / 6:14 pm

    Great reminders before any birthday! I find more comfortable in my skin today than ever before. There are lots of lessons I wished I had learned sooner (hello, anti-aging skincare).

  25. Jacqueline
    23rd September 2017 / 10:28 pm

    This post is everything! I recently turned 30 too so happy birthday girl! Love the timeline one and the little things don’t matter! It’s so true. It’s hard to not get down about little things that feel so big at the moment. I still have yet to find a great skincare routine! But hoping to find one soon.

  26. 24th September 2017 / 1:48 am

    Congratulations on your 30th birthday! You have so much wise advice, and very important life lessons. I’m already trying to integrate a lot of these in my life, but it’s a great reminder!

  27. Shell
    24th September 2017 / 1:51 am

    You are a young lady wise beyond her years… Your tips are so helpful to all women and we should all be insightful as to take care of ourselves the way you describe..

  28. Ashley DTKAustin
    24th September 2017 / 2:52 am

    Obsessed with this post!! I thought so many of these things before turning 30 so its refreshing to see someone else say the same things!

  29. 24th September 2017 / 3:15 pm

    I have passed my thirties and I have to proudly say that I have been through all this lessons and I have mastered them too 🙂 except the one about being careful what you put in your body. I am still addicted to junk food.

  30. 24th September 2017 / 3:42 pm

    I love #9. We get so focused on finding someone that we forget to just be happy with who we are. Also I turned 30 a few months ago. I’m definitely not where I thought I would be when I was 25, but it’s a good thing. I moved to Spain a year ago and I don’t think younger me could have predicted that that’s what I was going to do.

  31. 24th September 2017 / 10:38 pm

    These are all fantastic tips. I am now in my 40s and have seriously had to take several of those ideas to heart. Getting rid of toxic friends is especially useful. But I find that the older we get, they tend to disappear over time anyway. Wish I had taken better care of my skin back then however 🙂

  32. 24th September 2017 / 11:13 pm

    I’m 23 years old and in the process of learning all of these myself. Your first four lessons especially spoke to me, thanks for sharing 🙂

  33. 25th September 2017 / 12:43 am

    I have long passed this age, and these are valuable reflections we need to do every birthday. Cutting out toxicity is very important. Always be positive, so remove the negative from your life, or if they are inevitable, learn how to deal with them without burning yourself out.

  34. Stuart Brazell
    25th September 2017 / 10:31 am

    The toxic relationships advice is so dead on girl! Welcome to your thirties they are the best decade if you ask me!

  35. OLA
    25th September 2017 / 3:04 pm

    This is a good list of reminders. It’s never too late to learn

  36. 25th September 2017 / 5:08 pm

    All of these are so spot on. I’m only 25 but there are so many of these I’m working on a daily basis to become better at. Thank you for the Monday inspiration!

  37. 25th September 2017 / 5:09 pm

    All of these are so spot on. I’m only 25 but there are so many of these I’m working on a daily basis to become better at. #7 is for sure my weak spot. Thank you for the Monday inspiration!

  38. 25th September 2017 / 6:11 pm

    I agree… I was proud that I had so many friends at one point of life, but now I’m in a phase of having very few, very real friends. And yeah, 10 years ago, University marks meant so much and today it doesn’t even matter any more!!!

  39. Sophie
    26th September 2017 / 6:39 am

    Just about to turn 25 and I’m terrified. This is great advice though, especially stopping worrying about what others think.

  40. 27th September 2017 / 4:46 pm

    This is so on point! I just turned 30 in June and these are all excellent reminders, especially the ones about living our own lives and working to stop comparing ourselves to others – it’s hard but so freeing!

  41. 27th September 2017 / 7:06 pm

    Jojo, this is a wonderful post. I’m (almost) 30 and these are all of the things I’ve realized and STILL working on. I feel as #11 is the hardest. I’ve started wearing sunscreen everyday that I purchased from SoKo Glam and my skin thanks me everyday! I like reading a post like this time to time to remind me that I need to take care of myself.

  42. 28th September 2017 / 6:41 pm

    These are all good reminders. The hardest one to do is the not caring about what other people think. I understand that it frees one up. But I think it’s a somewhat misunderstood concept. It’s not about not caring what people think. It’s about placing a higher value on other things, including yourself. So you don’t worry about what they think.

  43. 29th September 2017 / 3:38 am

    I really love that you’re being so introspective and considering all the important things before 30. I wish I’d done more of that, rather than rat-racing at that season of life. Keep it up.

  44. 15th October 2017 / 6:44 pm

    This post really resonated with me – thanks for sharing!

  45. 21st October 2017 / 8:49 am

    Amazing post. Everything you said is completely spot on. You earned yourself a subscriber keep up the good work

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *