How do you know if you really made this choice yourself?

How do you know if you really made this choice yourself?

From the moment we are born, we have been told how to behave, what to like and what to consume.  As I grow older, I’m realising more and more that there are so many things that we genuinely don’t choose for ourselves, but that are chosen for us.

Until recently, we lived in a society where “normal” meant that it was frowned upon for a man to wear a dress or wear makeup.  Women were expected to stay in and look after the house and family.  We were expected to go to school/university/college and get a job.  It was “normal” to want to get married and have children (there is nothing wrong with these things if that is what you love!).

But how many of those things were imposed upon us by “society”?  If we continue to box ourselves into certain categories on how we should behave, what we should like and what we should be doing with our lives, how are we as the human species supposed to evolve and improve?

As soon as I realised this, I began consciously making my everyday choices.  Each time I do something, I think to myself “did I choose this, or did ‘someone else’ choose this for me?”  We often feel pressured to ‘fit into’ society’s predetermined ideals.  But the truth is, those ideals are always changing through the ages (it was fashionable for men to wear dresses at some point in history).  We shouldn’t make others feel uncomfortable for wanting to push the boundaries of what is considered “normal”.  We should embrace this and go forth with love.  Who knows, they could be the pioneers of a new revolution!

I’ve always been a rebel child who questioned authority and questioned everything around me, so it was only natural that my path in life took me to entrepreneurship.  But I did almost fall into the trap of fitting the mould and getting myself a traditional job (but there is nothing wrong with this if this is what you love!).

Have you ever considered that every time you go shopping at the supermarket for food, you are limited by only the choices that are available?  This is applicable in every area of our lives.  From TV adverts telling us what we should be buying, to the news on TV telling us what we should be scared of (how much of it is really true?), TV programmes telling you what shows you should be watching and the radio telling us what music we should like and what the latest trends are.

It’s time to stand up and make our own choices on what we want to do with our lives, what we want to wear, what we want to eat, without some invisible authority silently herding us around like sheep.

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53 Comments

  1. Ashley Cook
    18th August 2017 / 10:59 pm

    Interesting tackle on this topic. I think we like to believe we make decisions truly on our own, but with all the marketing and advertisements, our parents, or authority figures input I am not sure that we do. Your article definitely makes the brain wheels turn

  2. 19th August 2017 / 12:21 am

    What a great perspective on this. I have not thought about making choices this way. I really enjoyed reading this.

  3. Jessica Taylor
    19th August 2017 / 1:05 am

    Wow, I’ve never thought about it like that. I have always been a rebel child, so staying in “boxes” has never been my thing

  4. 19th August 2017 / 1:26 am

    this was quite an interesting read,it made me question some choices I thought that I had made on my own

  5. 19th August 2017 / 1:31 am

    i always try to be myself in the most respectful and polite way. never questioned authority but that does not mean that i always bow down. in fact i always bend rules, i don’t break it but just slightly bend! !-) http://www.crayonized.com

  6. 19th August 2017 / 2:21 am

    Absolutely love this! 🙂 It’s so important to stand up for yourself and make the choice that works best for YOU.

  7. 19th August 2017 / 2:35 am

    interesting read. It really made me think, not just about how I think but about how I want my kids to think and be… what is necessary and what is just something that is “normal”

  8. 19th August 2017 / 2:45 am

    I agree! I have to be 100% comfortable with a choice I make. Otherwise I’ll know I didn’t really make it.

  9. 19th August 2017 / 3:32 am

    Your post is great food for thought! This current generation has so many more life choices than the last. Things are improving decade by decade.

  10. Shell
    19th August 2017 / 4:05 am

    This is a really interesting perspective and I never thought about it like this before… I think you make an excellent point!!

  11. 19th August 2017 / 5:10 am

    You offer some great things to think about. Then again, I think independence is a little overrated and sometimes making choices need to require more than individual input.

  12. Ankana SIlva
    19th August 2017 / 7:09 am

    I totally agree with this post. You live a life for yourself. You do not want to live for others or impress anyone else. At the end of the day you need to be happy with what you do. Who care what “X” , “Y”, and “”Z” thinks about you. If you are happy with what your doing in life that is all that matters.

  13. 19th August 2017 / 7:11 am

    It is something to think about if you choose your path or did something else.

  14. 19th August 2017 / 1:57 pm

    This is an interesting read, I definitely think we need to bring our own individuality to everything we do and not feel like we need to fit into some box.

  15. 19th August 2017 / 1:59 pm

    I confess that I had never have to make important decisions by myself. There are always be people around us who care enough to advise us about things. .

  16. 19th August 2017 / 2:24 pm

    What a great perspective! About 10 or so years ago, I just one day decided to be myself, no matter what anyone tried to criticize me on. I don’t care to be shaped by anyone for any reason, and God as my witness I try to raise my children to be the same way!

  17. 19th August 2017 / 7:02 pm

    This is an interesting topic and I really like your take on it. I’ve always been someone who has to make her own decisions, but I often wonder if I’m really making them myself or if there’s outside influence that I didn’t notice.

  18. shannon
    20th August 2017 / 4:25 am

    Good for thought here. What a refreshing perspective. I agree people are constantly influenced my media. Taking v the time to figure out what you really think is vital.

  19. 20th August 2017 / 5:19 am

    Making choices has always been something that I did without much thought. If it wasn’t for my husband teaching me about WordPress and a layoff from a job due to a disability, I personally would not be where I am today in the online world.

  20. 20th August 2017 / 5:46 am

    Your post is very interesting and thoughtful. We should always have the option to choose and purse our passions. Thanks for sharing.

  21. 20th August 2017 / 7:53 am

    I agree with this. I also started making conscious decisions for myself and my life and stopped being what society says I should be. Loved this.

  22. 20th August 2017 / 2:50 pm

    We should really make our own choices yet at the same time be conscious on possible consequences to others. This can help us ensure that we won’t have regrets.

  23. 20th August 2017 / 3:04 pm

    By an ambition, someone is tasked to struggle to reach that. By keeping up with the Joneses, anyone would do something beyond his capacity to earn a living. There is always something that is leading a person to do what he wants to do. There is always a reason or cause for that. Be it a parent, a brother or sister, a friend, a teacher, among others who influence them so much.

  24. 20th August 2017 / 4:58 pm

    Wow i have never actually thought of this. Totally agree about society ‘norms’. As a mum i am quite free with my son. I dont force him to eat certain foods or hug certain people even. The struggle is real when we as parents try to force our kids to eat their veggies or finish what is on their plate. My tactic is to put it on hus plate and if he doesnt want to eat it its fine he can leave it there but the option is available. I beleive from doing this he is open to trying new foods. You are also right about society changing. With more resources available now for info and the ease of access via the internet we are more knowledgeable therefore creating change. I hope i am giving my son the tools to make his own choices. It was much different when i was growing up

  25. 20th August 2017 / 7:37 pm

    I love this!! I’ve thought about it before, but you worded it perfectly. I’ve always been one to try to blend in with those around me, but this definitely made me think.

  26. 20th August 2017 / 10:35 pm

    This was a really thought-provoking read – some interesting arguments I’d not thought about before. On the whole I agree with you – I want to break free of the norms that are expected of us too x

  27. 20th August 2017 / 11:17 pm

    It is important to stand up for myself. I never did in the past and I got ran over all the time. I had to change me mindset and gain a backbone.

  28. 21st August 2017 / 2:42 am

    I never really paid attention to societys norms. I was the girl ay school with mutli colored hair and wore whatever I want. Not many would say anything to me as I would just go home if so and was making straight As.

  29. 21st August 2017 / 2:49 am

    Yes, girl! 🙌🏽 We need to be mindful of the decisions we’re making and ensure we’re making them because it’s what we want, instead of what people say we should do.

  30. 21st August 2017 / 4:38 am

    I think that is fantastic that you know your strengths and know what suits your personality in terms of career and life choices. When you do what you love, it comes way more naturally 🙂

  31. 21st August 2017 / 7:28 am

    Indeed choices are shown to us but we must take what is right for us. It is not one size fits all, so each one needs to know his wants. Nice post.

  32. 21st August 2017 / 1:42 pm

    I sooo know the pressure you speak of… and I have taken a conscious decision to not conform and it is truly tough! Hopefully I can be self reliant and not cave!

  33. 21st August 2017 / 8:15 pm

    In the world where there are already rules on what things to do and not to do. Where there are already norms and family practices that should be followed, it is quite difficult to decide on our own but at the end of the day it is us who will choose the life we will take and the choices we will make and it is our duty to let others/society embrace what we want and what we like to do.

  34. 22nd August 2017 / 5:00 am

    love this perspective! we are our own masters!

  35. Elizabeth O
    23rd August 2017 / 4:01 pm

    Adorable young lady! I love how you open your mind with those kinds of thoughts. Unlike others, they keep on caging themselves with unwanted things. So they are left in the darkness and can’t see the colorful life they can see with their bare eyes.

  36. 24th August 2017 / 3:08 am

    Interesting perspective! I think you may be right. 🙂

  37. 24th August 2017 / 3:42 am

    Interesting article. I think most parents do let their children make their own choices to an extent. As a parent, I allow my kids to make decisions on most things like what they want to wear, eat, and do. However, there are things that they do not have a choice on, yet. It’s not for any reason except that they are not old enough to fully understand. I do, however, raise them to be open and knowledgeable. I don’t expect them to fit in a “social norm” if they don’t want to.

  38. 24th August 2017 / 5:00 am

    I enjoyed reading this! I think it’s important that we make conscious choices and consider the reasons for the choices we make. Great article.

  39. Summer
    24th August 2017 / 4:25 pm

    Controversial. I always think of myself as non-conformist. But as I reflect more on this, I think we are to some degree influenced by so many factors outside ourselves. Acting in conformity on the other hand is what’s keeping things in order. So, our pursuit to gain individuality coupled by environmental influences are what’s keeping us in the right track.

  40. 24th August 2017 / 4:34 pm

    What a great post! I love your perspective! I think sometimes we just have no idea why we made a special choice

  41. Ashley
    24th August 2017 / 5:29 pm

    This is something I haven’t really thought of before. A very interesting topic to tackle. I would like think all choice I make are my own but to be honest is that even really possible? I don’t know

  42. 24th August 2017 / 7:59 pm

    Very very unique content and great point of view. Love to read the blog. Thanks for sharing

  43. 25th August 2017 / 1:36 am

    Thought-provoking. There are so many “voices” in the world, and influences of all kinds coming at us every day. It’s interesting to read your post, because I have recently been blogging about making choices, and doing so intentionally.

  44. 25th August 2017 / 7:23 am

    I absolutely agree with this. We should always make a choice for good because if not, we will face consequences.

  45. 25th August 2017 / 1:28 pm

    Most of us don’t think about this. We just go through life thinking this is the way it’s supposed to be. I like your article. Great thoughts 🙂

  46. 26th August 2017 / 1:01 am

    Really excellent point that got me thinking. I really believe in tapping into our own beliefs and morals and reanalyzing to see if this is what we really want for ourselves. For example I do my best not to watch TV ads and commercials, and my style is truly my own, I don’t follow anyone specifically.

  47. 29th August 2017 / 10:25 am

    So true.. It’s really true that we r the only one whom is really made the choice of our life.. or, did we? Hmm….

  48. 29th September 2017 / 9:42 am

    At some point I do agree with this but at the same time “being different” is perhaps not a self choice as one think because somehow the society and everything else around you made you choose to be different.
    At the end, I dont think we can totally escape being somehow influenced by the people and the society around us. Yes I look at Game of thrones because they say it is a great serie. We have the freedome to CHOSE to look at it or not and I chose to look at it so yes even tho they tell us what to watch we have the freedome not to. To choose is very luxury because not everybody get that freedome.

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